lasik.

so, there will definitely be more updates about this later, but here's just a heads up. in case you haven't heard or noticed, i've been wearing my glasses for the passed however many months. this entire year i've been having problems with my contacts and my eyes. i eventually ended up with a corneal ulcer on my left eye. so i was sent to an eye doctor, who (long story short) told me that i wouldn't be able to really wear contacts anymore because my eyes are so damaged for wearing them for so long. (i've been wearing them since i was in 6th grade!). so, he suggested i come in for a free lasik eye surgery consultation. i had that consultation today and it turns out i'm a candidate. so, i'm scheduled to go in for the surgery november 12th @ 9am! it's kind of expensive ($4100), but this is my vision we're talking about! i'm a little apprehensive about it, but so excited at the same time. i like having the option of wearing my glasses and i've received so many compliments on how much people like them and i almost feel like i'll be a little boring without them now, but i can't even remember the last time i was able to wake up in the morning and see more than 2 feet in front of me without scrambling for my glasses or running and putting my contacts in. more updates will come once i get the surgery, till then, wish me luck!!

twice on the pipes.

soooo! i got to feel my jillian kick for the first time tonight! what an amazing feeling! i just got little hits (2 i felt for sure), but i still can't wait till she can really sock it to me! sarah & jake had a few of us over for carne asada dinner (so good!) and it was fun to just hang around and be lazy and have fun. i can't wait till my niece is here & i can hold her in my arms & spoil her rotten. i ran around for a few minutes with my camera, here are the results:

clavicles.

so, some of you might have noticed that i haven't had a weight watcher update in quite awhile. well, long story short was because i pretty much stopped. i just lost the urge to keep counting my points, so i tried making smart decisions, but not tracking my points and it worked for about a month. I maintained the same 2 lbs. But i wasn't happy because i stopped 10 lbs short of my weight goal. so making smart decisions turned into cheating once a week, twice a week, etc etc. so i ended up gaining some lbs back and now i'm back on track, full force. my goal is to lose about 15 pounds and i really think i can do it. so for whoever reads this, when we hang out please be supportive. don't offer me fattening foods, fast food, etc. :) thaaanks!! "nothing tastes as good as thin feels!" xo.

little sister.

first, off. today is megan's birthday! happy birthday sister!!!!!!!! i've got to say this year was probably my favorite year celebrating my little sister's bday so far. it's been really hard trying to get to know her, being so far away and not really being able to see her grow up. But this year i finally got the chance to see her around her friends and, to be honest, i was proud. My dad & B threw a little bbq/bday party for her on Saturday and luckily, Jason & I both had the day off and were able to stop by. We didn't stay too long, but we got to hang out in the backyard under the misters my dad had set up (Jason's already envisioning them in our future backyard), have a few beers, GOOD food (dad made carnitas), and sit back and catch up. All the while Megan hung out with her friends. It was like i time-travelled back to when I was in high school and it's good to see that Megan looks like she's having just as much fun as I did. I would really like to try to get closer to her. We don't have the normal big sister-little sister relationship, but I wish we did. And I hope she knows how much I love her & am always here for her. I LOVE YOU, MEGAN! Happy Birthday!

pink ladies.

so, yesterday was grace's very 1st birthday and today haley & eddie threw her an adorable birthday party over on lake mission viejo. it was in this cute clubhouse right on the lake. the theme was "pretty in pink" so all the decorations, food, cake, etc was pink and aaaall the guests wore pink! it was so cute and turned out really great! grace was all smiles all day long and we all had a great time. i spent most of the party walking around taking bunches of pictures, so i had a blast. here's some of my favorites:

conehead.

so on friday, i took penny in to get fixed. i was SOOOO nervous. but this last week she's been a little bit too wild and out of control, so i was almost looking forward to it, hoping the surgery would calm her down a little bit. well, she wasn't allowed to eat or drink after 6pm on thursday night and that was hard for me because i leave her food and water out at all times so she can help herself and i knew she was hungry and thirsty later on in the evening because she was looking around for it and whining. i felt bad that she couldn't even have water, but hey, drs orders. so jason & i woke up early friday morning because we had to have her @ the humane society at 8am. i had left her carrier out the week before so she could sniff around and become familiar with it, so that it wouldn't be a huge fight to get her into it in the morning. well, it that tactic worked and she went into the carrier easy as pie and we were on our way. she was really good almost the entire way there, but she eventually got scared and started crying a lot. i felt so awful. and then when we got to the humane society there were so many dogs and cats crying and barking and whining, it scared her so bad. it was really hard to leave her. especially since i knew that i wasn't going to be able to pick her up for over 24 hours! so the vet took her back and came and brought us our carrier and tickled my fancy so much because she went on and on about how gorgeous penny was! mama's little super model!! well later on in the day, i cracked and called to see how she was doing. i thought they were going to think i was crazy, but the guy who answered the phone was SO nice, he went and checked on her and loved her a little and told me she was fine, just groggy and grumpy! haha. well i picked her up @ 9am sharp the next morning because i missed her sooo much and i was so worried! she was so happy to see me! i was so relieved because i thought she was going to hate me! but now she has to wear this awful cone for 2 weeks so she doesn't lick @ the incision!

it's the saddest and funniest thing ever! she keeps running into everything and she has this super funny walk, but she was sooo happy to be home and so loving! she didn't hide or whine at all like everyone said she was going to, she automatically started playing and loving on me and jason and checkin everything out! so everything's going great!!

her giving me kisses

& more kisses

and me kissing back.

<3

marco.

so today was the yearly alumni water polo game at westminster high school. i had forgotten to ask for the day off, but thankfully roxann switched me shifts and i was able to make it to the game. it was kind of nice to catch up with some people i haven't seen in awhile and hang out with those that i see all the time. i felt like such an old lady walking on that campus! but it reminded me of good times. i got to see and talk to coaches cain & scott and that was nice. coach cain always knows the right things to say and makes every situation make sense. i wish he was in my life more often. i also got to take some pictures while i was there, that was really fun. i got to fart around with my zoom lens, too, which was nice because i don't get to use that one too often. here's some of the pictures:

maybe next year i'll finally get enough guts to get back in the deep pool!!

labia.

it's a giiiiirrl!! like i already knew, but it's official! ok, let's go a few steps backwards now. since the first day my sister told me she was pregnant, i just had that feeling that it was a girl. we jokingly went back and forth because she thought it was a boy, and i KNEW it was a girl. well, before i even knew she was pregnant amy & i were @ walgreens and happened across this take-home gender identifying tests. now no one took it seriously, but i knew i had to get sarah one and see what it says!! supposedly if it turns green it's a boy and if it turns (or stays) orange, it's a girl. well, voila!:

then, later on that week, sarah had an appointment to get an ultrasound to determine the sex of her little bean. well, as i expected, they saw the "three lines" and she confirmed my suspicions: "it" turned into my little Jillian!! And finally, sarah had her ultrasound @ her doctor's office to determine the sex and check on a few other things (Jillians nice & healthy and 1 ounce overweight! hahaha, sarah!) and for the final time, we were confirmed that Jillian is in fact, a she! So, you know when in ultrasounds you see when they type "boy!" or "girl!"? Well, We don't know why, but the ultrasound technician felt the need to take a picture and type "labia":

So there you have it. Right in your face. My sister's having my little princess, like i always knew!<3

commando.

i learned today that i need to find a form of release. i realize that sounds perverted to you folks with your mind in the gutter, let me explain. i tend to be overwhelmed fairily easy. when it rains it pours and i always find myself outside, without an umbrella.. in my underwear. i feel like i have no passion in life. like the passions musicians or artists or PARENTS have. like, when i was in high school and i needed to release some energy (good or bad) the water was my escape. i'd go to the pool and swim some laps. my favorite sound was the sound of underwater. when u're holding ur breath and u can hear your hands slapping the water and ur feet kicking behind you. but now i'm fat and lazy and don't have a pool that i'm required to be in every 6th period. so when i find myself lost for words and actions in times like these, i feel like my hearts going to burst out of my chest and it all turns to anger and anxiety. i wish i was one of those people that could just go paint, or write a poem, or hug their child. but i have no extreme passion in life and it makes me feel like i'm just wasting time. i tell everyone that when they ask me why i'm not in school. because i don't know what i want to do! i want to be happy. and i don't care who says money can't buy happiness, because it can and it does. so therefore i need to make semi-decent money. idk, i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. i know i'm an extremely hard worker and i know that if i was extraordinarily passionate about something, i'd find a way to make it work. but i'm not. i need inspiration.

ps. i realize this completely contradicts my last post. maybe i'm bipolar. i've never said "practice what you preach," maybe i'll give it a try... someday. just not today.