...it goes on.

big girl.

2010-04-22T23:51:00.000-07:00

so paige turned 1 year old on april 2nd. I can't believe it's already been a year. time goes by way too fast. well, to celebrate her big day the family went to the zoo on her actually birth DAY and then jaimie threw a big party for her @ the garden grove elks lodge. conveniently, the zoo was on my list, so i got to cross another one off. here's to paige! :) I love you beautiful baby girl.

number 94- go to the zoo

vino.

2010-04-11T23:25:00.000-07:00

hello world. like with most of my blogs, we've got some catching up to do. let's see. last blog i posted, jilly was just born and now she's already 2 months! my goodness. well, lets stick to the 101 list for now! i've gotten a few things checked off!

number 14- go wine tasting & number 38- go back to San Fran

two birds, one stone! I took Roxann up to San Fran for her birthday this February. We've gone once before and seriously had so much fun that we couldn't stop talking about coming back again, before we even left! So, i decided I'd drive her up there and pay for the hotel for her bday! We went wine tasting the first day, visited Muir woods, and spent the entire second day shopping!! it was AMAAZZZING.

number 73- move out of these apartments & number 93- completely clean out closet, drawers, etc.

'nuff said.

JC.

2010-02-21T21:36:00.001-08:00

so i'm going to attempt to make this blog as short as possible because when it comes to the new love of my life, it has been proven that i can talk for hours and hours and hours on end. number 11 on my 101 list was hold jillian in my arms and, boy, have i completed that tenfold. my amazing sister brought my perfect, beautiful niece Jillian Carey Headlee into this world on Saturday, February 6th. I had fallen asleep with my phone on vibrate the night before (a lesson i learned the hard way!) and had FINALLY woken up around 11 with 11 text messages and about 8 missed calls! turns out sarah had gone into labor. so, i rushed like i've never rushed before to the hospital! I want to thank everyone for bombarding me with phone calls and text messages! you all knew how important this day was to me and how i'd never forgive myself if i missed it!! I ended up spending the whole day at the hospital in great company, laughing, hanging out, and playing cards. then, to spare the details.. Jilly was here! haha. Jake came out, announced her arrival, and i swear, if we could, we all would have rushed the entrance to see that beautiful baby! I finally got to hold her around 6, 630 and my heart was so full, it was bursting at the seams. I swear, I'm so completely in love with this little lady, i don't even know where to put it all. I left that night around 8pm, feeling so overwhelmed with emotion, i didn't even know what to do with it. I visited the very next day (Superbowl sunday) and hung out for a few hours. I celebrated the Saints winning with my niece in my arms. And it's been nothing but love ever since. I have SO loved having my sister around since she has been on maternity leave. I get to go over and hang out with her as much as i want. I try not to be overwhelming, but I can't believe how much I miss my niece when a few days go by without me seeing her! I swear, she knows my voice & loves me! I could just be convincing myself, but i don't care! haha. Sarah is seriously such an amazing, mother! I know she's being working hard, but i swear it came to her naturally!! I'm so proud of her and my brother for giving the world this little miracle and enriching all of our lives and i cannot wait for us to witness Jillian grow!!

pickmeup.

2010-01-22T01:52:00.000-08:00

"Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness"
--ray lamontagne

really soak in these lyrics. they're the 100% God's honest truth.
i love you.
xo.

baby buster.

2010-01-15T23:50:00.000-08:00

so, in case you haven't heard, i'm going to be an auntie AGAIN!!!!!!! :) Amy's finally got all her hard work ;) paid off! She's pregnant! I'm seriously so excited to go through this whole process again. I've already started looking @ baby clothes & toys all over again. My prediction this time is a boy, but I, of course, will be ecstatic whichever way it goes! (just no twins amy!!! haha) i've been praying for this day for at least a year now and it's such a great feeling to have God deliver tenfold. I can't wait to walk through this pregnancy, amy, and to be there for you every step of the way! you've finally got your little angel, i can't wait to be fun auntie shannon or your baby daddy (haha) whichever you may need. i love you so much and can never thank you enough for this gift you have given me!! Just when I thought my heart was full, God shows me that there's always room for more!! so, here's to baby buster<3<3<3

ting ting.

2010-01-14T23:34:00.000-08:00

number 67- go to an improv show.

so, this 101 list is getting completed a lot quicker than i thought it would! Danny & Roxann randomly invited me to go to the improv last night to go see Danny's coworker/good friend who does stand up and I said yes, of course, before I even realized it was on my 101 list! So that made me even more excited! Well, Roxann picked me & Danny up and we headed to Irvine. We started the night @ Yardhouse with some great drinks. I got a Godstopper martini & Rox got a Sweet Tart one. Which were quickly followed by a shot of Patron. So, we thought we had finished before the show, but Danny ordered another round of beers, so me and Roxann thought we were golden. We ordered another round of martinis (I got the sweet tart one this time!) and before we even took a drink, the guys had finished their beers and me & rox had to down our martinis!! Let me tell you, if you're being classy by ordering a martini, all that class flies straight out the window when u chug it! hahah. So we made our boozy way over to the improv, had a few more drinks & laughed our butts off! It was seriously so much fun!! Walking in we saw that Jo Koy is performing there Valentine's Day weekend. Now, if you're reading this, you probably know who Jo Koy is. He had a comedy special on Comedy Central and me & Jason fell in love & spread the wealth. Ever since then, his jokes have been regular conversation in our group of friends. Well, Danny left & surprised us with 4 tickets for his upcoming show! I'm seriously SO excited!!

jo koy<3<3<3<3

2fer.

2010-01-09T00:45:00.000-08:00

number 90- watch Paige all by myself

so i didn't even try and i completed 2 of my 101 tasks today! i'm seriously so excited. if this is 2010's way of turning things around, then keep it coming!! jaimie had asked me to watch paige today while she went out and got a few things done. and even though paige is inching nearer and nearer her 1st birthday (my GOD how time flies) I still hadn't watched her all alone yet (for more than a half hour) and i've wanted to. Not only do i love my niece dearly and cherish every minute i get to spend with her, it also meant SO much to me to know that Jaimie trusted me alone with her child. It's a HUGE compliment in my book. So, Jaimie dropped her off @ around 11 and we had SO much fun. She was SO in love with penny and penny was not having it. Then, a couple hours in she started getting really fussy so i went to put her down for her nap and she FREAKED out. and I know you're supposed to let babies cry themselves to sleep, but I couldn't do it so i picked her up and she just really wanted to be held. So we were cuddling and the next thing i noticed, she was totally passed out on my arm. she's so precious! it's seriously one of the best feelings in the world!

number 10- get a tattoo

secondly. tonight at work i got a wild hair up my ass and wanted to get my dragonfly tattoo that i've wanted for forever. so, i called my sister amy bcuz she's always up to do these kind of things on a whim with me and of course, she was up for it. So i called my tattoo artist steve and jetted over to autumn moon after work!! Amy liked the drawing that I was going to get so she got the same thing (different colors)! I wanted to get a dragonfly because every year when i go on the float (especially the first year) there's dragonflies everywhere. and the first year as i was passing out for my mid-float nap (lol) i just remember looking up @ the sky and loving the sun and seeing them flying around. It just gives me a serene feeling.

2010-01-06T01:46:00.000-08:00

i'm writing a blog to hopefully break the curse. we're 6 days into 2010 and i already hate it. this last week has been so overwhelming and exhausting for me. i literally have never in my life felt more drained or pushed to my limits. with word going around work that lay offs are in order, jackie being in and out of the hospital, and me already being an emotional wreck, 2010 has not been good to me. so, here's to breaking the cycle, keeping my chin up & thinking positively. just to put a little skip in my step, here are things 2010 has to offer:

-seeing jillian's face

-taking my engagement photos

-witnessing jessica say "i do"

-lots of fun stree-free wedding planning (see, i said thinking positively!)

-watching paige grow more

-moving out of these apartments

-working on my photography

i'm sure there's many more new, fun & exciting things to come. :) so come on, 2010 get outta your funk and treat me good. xoxo.

101 in 1001.

2010-01-03T23:40:00.001-08:00

So my cousin Jessica wrote this super inspirational blog about a list of 101 things she will complete in 1001 days. I was so intrigued and inspired by it that I decided to make one myself & I've been telling all my friends to do it, too! The list is in absolutely no importance or timeline type of order, I wrote things down as they popped in my head. I'm starting my list Monday, January 4th 2010; which means my last day to finish everything will be October 2nd, 2012 (if I did my math correctly). So here it is, I'll keep you updated as I complete each task!!

1. Read my Canon tutorials.

2. Go to Vegas - completed 08.28.10

3. Go to Oregon

4. Go to a taping of Ellen

5. Get my passport - completed 02.21.11

6. Take a nap on the beach

7. Go visit grandma in Arizona - completed 02.11.11

8. Get a full body massage

9. Learn how to ride a 2-wheeler on the dirt.

10. Get a tattoo - completed 01.08.10

11. Hold Jillian in my arms - completed 02.06.10

12. Hear Paige say my name - completed 02.23.11 "auntie"

13. Hear Jillian say my name - completed 02.27.11 "Nanana!"

14. Go wine tasting - completed 02.27.10

15. Go to Medieval Times

16. Buy a beer pong table

17. Rent a cabin, in the mountains, in the winter time, with friends

18. Go on a romantic weekend get-a-way with Jason - completed 02.14.11

19. Finally send in my hair to Locks Of Love

20. Run a mile- time it. Exercise, get fit. Then run another mile and beat that time. - completed 12.10

21. Play beach volleyball

22. Go fishing

23. Take a body shot

24. Go to the float- and BE the party group. - completed 07.31.2010

25. Go to Laughlin - completed 06.04.2010

26. Swim with dolphins

27. Look into acrobatics & hopefully take a class

28. Get off Lexapro - completed 05.10

29. Go to Disneyland when it "snows"

30. Go on a hike

31. Have a baby (get pregnant)

32. Go to a concert - completed 07.14.2010 (kings of leon)

33. Go to Hollywood & make a whole day (& night) out of it - completed 03.26.11

34. Go to Sgt. Pepper's (again...) - completed 03.26.11

35. Visit the Grand Canyon

36. Make a new friend - completed!!

37. Go to Four Corners

38. Go back to San Fran - completed 02.26.10

39. Get Jason a dog

40. Wish on a shooting star - completed 07.11.2010

41. Give a new life to my 3 succulents (aka. get 3 new ones) - completed 07.24.2010

42. Get a new DVD rack & re-alphabetize

43. Attend a UFC fight

44. Get at least $3,000 in my savings

45. Eat an amazing filet mignon - completed

46. Kiss in the rain

47. Kiss while watching fireworks

48. Get an easily portable digital camera - completed 07.23.2010 (bday present from jay & family)

49. Go swimming in the ocean - completed 08.02.2010

50. Feel comfortable in a bikini

51. Learn how to comfortably ride a jet ski

52. Wakeboard

53. Go to San Diego's Gas Lamp District & make a mini-vaca out of it (hotel & all).

54. Get a facial - completed 08.26.2010

55. Do a girls day at Glen Ivy

56. Get my ears re-pierced - completed 11.2010

57. Buy a pair of Seven jeans

58. Use my Tiffany's gift card - completed 11.2010

59. Make homemade macaroni & cheese for Jason

60. Give Venice Beach another try

61. Take boudoir photos

62. Buy a pogo stick & use it (at least once!).

63. Pay off & cancel my Union & Target credit cards

64. Do something Queen Mary related

65. Go on a long, aimless drive with Sarah (& maybe Jillian).

66. Go to an NFL game (perferably Cowboys vs. Chargers)

67. Go to an improv show - completed 01.13.10

68. Go to the dentist - completed 09.04.2010

69. Weigh my goal weight - completed 03.07.2011

70. Have a picnic

71. Eat sashimi

72. Have a fancy night-out limo ride with my very best girlfriends

73. Move out of these apartments - completed (officially) 04.01.10

74. Get a bookcase and organize my books

75. Have a bridal shower - completed 03.12.11

76. Have a bachelorette party - completed 03.26.11

77. Have a wedding

78. Go on my dream honeymoon

79. Celebrate my 1 year wedding anniversary

80. Take my engagement photos - completed 10.08.10

81. Start tracking my period - completed

82. Save all my photos onto CDs & delete them off my computer

83. Take a photography class

84. Go to Catalina

85. Buy & watch the Planet Earth DVDs

86. Shoot a gun. (safely!) - completed 06.26.2010

87. Take a gondola ride

88. Go to a Las Vegas show

89. Attend a New Moon party with Jess, Sarah & Haley

90. Watch Paige all by myself - completed 01.08.10

91. Have a sleepover with Paige AND Jillian

92. Go on a cruise

93. Completely clean out closet, drawers, etc. and donate. - completed 03.30.10

94. Go to the zoo - completed 04.02.10

95. Do a pole dancing work out class

96. Play beer pong in Vegas

97. Do a photo shoot with Jackie

98. Brew my own beer with Jason

99. Do a Vegas turnaround

100. Go kayaking

101. Make a new 101 list :)

engagement

2009-12-07T20:29:00.000-08:00

ok. so most of you know this story already, but it hasn't gotten old to me yet, so here it goes. :) i'm engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jason & I have been together for 3 years this month and i knew we were going to get married someday, but he completely caught me off guard! I couldn't be any happier! It happened on November 25th. He had gotten a call early that morning and gotten up right away and left. He had told me the night before that he was planning on selling something to a guy on Race Dezert, so I didn't think too much about it. I woke up hours later, wondering where he was, so I gave him a call and wasn't very nice! :/ He was super sweet (even though i was being such a grump!) and told me he'd be home shortly, that he was getting my car washed. So I got out of bed and waited for him in the living room (not knowing that I was ruining his plans). Apparently he had planned to come in and put the ring on my finger while I was still asleep! So, he kind of got caught, pretty much red handed. I saw the box in his hand right when he walked in the door & he stood there like a deer caught in headlights. So, he stopped, said "Baby, you know I'm not good at keeping secrets..." and got down on one knee right in the middle of our living room! I was completely caught offguard & in utter disbelief. I, of course, said yes & immediately started calling everyone in my phone book!! hahah. I was seriously on cloud 9 the rest of the day. I have never been so happy in my entire life. Seriously, it's the BEST compliment in the woooorld to hear someone tell you they want to spend the rest of their life with you. <3>

here's my beautiful ring!

so later on that week , me & jay threw an engagement party to celebrate! It was so much fun!! Amy made me the cutest ring boxes made out of rice krispy treats! All the pictures are up on my myspace & facebook, so make sure you check them out! The entire night was full of laughs and good friends, and lots of drinks! Special thanks to Sarah for being the designated bartender that night! Not only did you make the yummiest chocolate cake shots, you saved my life with In N Out! What would I ever do without you??

And lastly, but definitely not least I picked my sister, Amy, to be my maid of honor. I'm so excited to share this experience with you! And to chew you out when you're not doing things right!! Watch out! Here Bridezilla comes!! Jason & I decided to make the engagement over a year so that we don't have to stress too, too much or feel too overwhelmed with planning and paying, etc. So for right now, the date's May 21st, 2011! Mark you non-existant calendars! hahah. Also, Sarah, my other big sister has done me the honor of being my Matron of Honor. :) I'm excited to have her help because she just had her wedding and she knows so much more than I do about these things! Haha. And Mrs. Haley Jackson is my official wedding planner. I'm seriously so stoked about this. I have complete confidence in her to make my wedding day my fairytale wedding. Everyone's already been so SUPPORTIVE and SO much help! I'm so excited!!

ebenezer.

2009-12-06T20:29:00.002-08:00

so today my mom, jason's family & i went on one of our many family adventures. seriously, jason's family is so good at getting together pretty regularly and i love days out like this. thanks to jaimie who was pretty much our tour guide and had everything set up and ready to go, today was completely stress-free and so much fun! so, we took the metrolink down to hollywood to go see "A Christmas Carol" in 3D @ the Orpheum theater. Maaa woke me up bright & early with McDonalds breakfast :] (one of the many reasons i love her so). We had to be @ Aunt Cheryl's by 9 to make it to the train on time. We ended up in Hollywood @ around 11 and the movie didn't start till 1, so we headed to Grauman's Chinese Theater where me & mom HAD to find John Wayne's footprints & see if they were loose!! ;) [any I Love Lucy fan will understand this]

afterwards all of us went to johnny rockets for lunch and before we knew it, it was time to go to the movie. :) We lucked out because the movie had a live Disney performance before it. Equipped with LIVE Mickey & Minnie, Goofie, and more. Paige absolutely LOVED IT. I seriously almost started crying because it tugged at my heart so much to see her. She sat straight up on Jaimie's lap & just started jumping all over the place! She had the biggest smile on her face & she was giggling and screaming and having so much fun! Then the movie started (3D movies are so much fun by the way). It was an okay movie. It's definitely not a kids movie, that's for sure. But I completely enjoyed the experience.

mama found the door's star & nearly had a coronary. :)

Before we knew it, the movie was over and we had an hour and a half before we had to catch the metro on the way back home. So we walked to this sandwich place called Phillipes (which is apparently a pretty big deal). It was SO much fun & so nice to just hang out with family all day long & catch up and just have a good time.

time warp.

2009-12-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

oooh my gosh. so much has happened since i last blogged and i know Haley wants to strangle me for letting 2 months go by, but with all that's happened in the passed 2 months, i'm sure you'll be seeing a lot more writing from me! Geez louise where do i start?

well, just to go off my last blog, Lasik was a HUGE success!! the very next day my vision was 20/20! its so weird and amazing and unbelievable to be able to see everything all the time! i still feel like i need to get out of bed to take my contacts out every night! but dr. lingua did an amazing job & i'm more than happy.

next, oooooh my God, i got to see my niece's gorgeous little (chunk a dunk) face!!! Sarah had her 4D ultrasound & boy oh boy i fell in loooooooooove. (not that i wasn't already, but it made my heart skip 10 beats to put a face to the beeeellly! haha) seeing sarah fly through this pregnancy and grow and learn with her has been such an amazing and humbling experience. jillybean i can't wait to hold you in my arms! but please wait till february because mommy won't stop bitching about your birthstone for the rest of your life if you come in january!!

here's my niece!!

she TOTALLY has my nose, but sarah says it's hers.

(& i choose not to argue with the temperamental pregnant lady!)

by the way.. I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but that gets it's own blog, which will be next. :]

what's next, oh, thanksgiving! So i had to work this year (surprise, surprise), but i don't mind because lets face it, the holiday pay isn't too shabby. work has been so slow lately, it's scary. rumor has it they might be doing lay offs again. let's hope not. anywho, i was scheduled 9-6, then i had plans to have dinner @ sarah's, then head over to jason's dads house to hang out with that side of my family that evening. well, since work was soo slow, i ended up leaving @ around 4 or 430 and got to sarah's house early. (thank God, i was starving!) the food was AAAAMAZING, so i ate until i regretted it (haha) and had a really good time hanging out with my family, talking about my engagement! & my beautiful niece, Jillian & how we all can't wait to meet her!! afterwards i got to go to cheryl & phils house & hang out with my other niece, paige! Whom i love and adore dearly<3>

next, most of my inner circle of friends have been inspired by my cousin Jessica's blog to write a "101 things in a 1001 days" list & i've officially started mine! I can't believe how incredibly difficult it is to write! i'm not a person that takes disappointment lightly, so i'm scared to put down things on the list that i think i may not be able to fulfill! i recommend everyone make one of these lists!! it's extremely trying & telling & more importantly INSPIRING! I'm so excited to finish this list and post it to show all of you what i'll be up to the next 3 years! haha

Lastly, (but definitely not least...ly?) yesterday sarah had her baby shower! :) Haley was nice enough to host it at her house & Jessica was amazing enough to throw the party! (with haley's help!) it was a huge success! it was sweet & fun & everybody got to see each other and sarah's huge belly. it almost felt like an adult tea party! haha. sarah ended up coming home with a nursery full of much needed & much appreciated presents for the Headlee's newest addition!

lasik.

2009-09-30T16:50:00.000-07:00

so, there will definitely be more updates about this later, but here's just a heads up. in case you haven't heard or noticed, i've been wearing my glasses for the passed however many months. this entire year i've been having problems with my contacts and my eyes. i eventually ended up with a corneal ulcer on my left eye. so i was sent to an eye doctor, who (long story short) told me that i wouldn't be able to really wear contacts anymore because my eyes are so damaged for wearing them for so long. (i've been wearing them since i was in 6th grade!). so, he suggested i come in for a free lasik eye surgery consultation. i had that consultation today and it turns out i'm a candidate. so, i'm scheduled to go in for the surgery november 12th @ 9am! it's kind of expensive ($4100), but this is my vision we're talking about! i'm a little apprehensive about it, but so excited at the same time. i like having the option of wearing my glasses and i've received so many compliments on how much people like them and i almost feel like i'll be a little boring without them now, but i can't even remember the last time i was able to wake up in the morning and see more than 2 feet in front of me without scrambling for my glasses or running and putting my contacts in. more updates will come once i get the surgery, till then, wish me luck!!

twice on the pipes.

2009-09-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

soooo! i got to feel my jillian kick for the first time tonight! what an amazing feeling! i just got little hits (2 i felt for sure), but i still can't wait till she can really sock it to me! sarah & jake had a few of us over for carne asada dinner (so good!) and it was fun to just hang around and be lazy and have fun. i can't wait till my niece is here & i can hold her in my arms & spoil her rotten. i ran around for a few minutes with my camera, here are the results:

clavicles.

2009-09-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

so, some of you might have noticed that i haven't had a weight watcher update in quite awhile. well, long story short was because i pretty much stopped. i just lost the urge to keep counting my points, so i tried making smart decisions, but not tracking my points and it worked for about a month. I maintained the same 2 lbs. But i wasn't happy because i stopped 10 lbs short of my weight goal. so making smart decisions turned into cheating once a week, twice a week, etc etc. so i ended up gaining some lbs back and now i'm back on track, full force. my goal is to lose about 15 pounds and i really think i can do it. so for whoever reads this, when we hang out please be supportive. don't offer me fattening foods, fast food, etc. :) thaaanks!! "nothing tastes as good as thin feels!" xo.

little sister.

2009-09-21T22:59:00.001-07:00

first, off. today is megan's birthday! happy birthday sister!!!!!!!! i've got to say this year was probably my favorite year celebrating my little sister's bday so far. it's been really hard trying to get to know her, being so far away and not really being able to see her grow up. But this year i finally got the chance to see her around her friends and, to be honest, i was proud. My dad & B threw a little bbq/bday party for her on Saturday and luckily, Jason & I both had the day off and were able to stop by. We didn't stay too long, but we got to hang out in the backyard under the misters my dad had set up (Jason's already envisioning them in our future backyard), have a few beers, GOOD food (dad made carnitas), and sit back and catch up. All the while Megan hung out with her friends. It was like i time-travelled back to when I was in high school and it's good to see that Megan looks like she's having just as much fun as I did. I would really like to try to get closer to her. We don't have the normal big sister-little sister relationship, but I wish we did. And I hope she knows how much I love her & am always here for her. I LOVE YOU, MEGAN! Happy Birthday!

pink ladies.

2009-09-20T17:56:00.003-07:00

so, yesterday was grace's very 1st birthday and today haley & eddie threw her an adorable birthday party over on lake mission viejo. it was in this cute clubhouse right on the lake. the theme was "pretty in pink" so all the decorations, food, cake, etc was pink and aaaall the guests wore pink! it was so cute and turned out really great! grace was all smiles all day long and we all had a great time. i spent most of the party walking around taking bunches of pictures, so i had a blast. here's some of my favorites:

conehead.

2009-09-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

so on friday, i took penny in to get fixed. i was SOOOO nervous. but this last week she's been a little bit too wild and out of control, so i was almost looking forward to it, hoping the surgery would calm her down a little bit. well, she wasn't allowed to eat or drink after 6pm on thursday night and that was hard for me because i leave her food and water out at all times so she can help herself and i knew she was hungry and thirsty later on in the evening because she was looking around for it and whining. i felt bad that she couldn't even have water, but hey, drs orders. so jason & i woke up early friday morning because we had to have her @ the humane society at 8am. i had left her carrier out the week before so she could sniff around and become familiar with it, so that it wouldn't be a huge fight to get her into it in the morning. well, it that tactic worked and she went into the carrier easy as pie and we were on our way. she was really good almost the entire way there, but she eventually got scared and started crying a lot. i felt so awful. and then when we got to the humane society there were so many dogs and cats crying and barking and whining, it scared her so bad. it was really hard to leave her. especially since i knew that i wasn't going to be able to pick her up for over 24 hours! so the vet took her back and came and brought us our carrier and tickled my fancy so much because she went on and on about how gorgeous penny was! mama's little super model!! well later on in the day, i cracked and called to see how she was doing. i thought they were going to think i was crazy, but the guy who answered the phone was SO nice, he went and checked on her and loved her a little and told me she was fine, just groggy and grumpy! haha. well i picked her up @ 9am sharp the next morning because i missed her sooo much and i was so worried! she was so happy to see me! i was so relieved because i thought she was going to hate me! but now she has to wear this awful cone for 2 weeks so she doesn't lick @ the incision!

it's the saddest and funniest thing ever! she keeps running into everything and she has this super funny walk, but she was sooo happy to be home and so loving! she didn't hide or whine at all like everyone said she was going to, she automatically started playing and loving on me and jason and checkin everything out! so everything's going great!!

her giving me kisses

& more kisses

and me kissing back.

marco.

2009-09-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

so today was the yearly alumni water polo game at westminster high school. i had forgotten to ask for the day off, but thankfully roxann switched me shifts and i was able to make it to the game. it was kind of nice to catch up with some people i haven't seen in awhile and hang out with those that i see all the time. i felt like such an old lady walking on that campus! but it reminded me of good times. i got to see and talk to coaches cain & scott and that was nice. coach cain always knows the right things to say and makes every situation make sense. i wish he was in my life more often. i also got to take some pictures while i was there, that was really fun. i got to fart around with my zoom lens, too, which was nice because i don't get to use that one too often. here's some of the pictures:

maybe next year i'll finally get enough guts to get back in the deep pool!!

labia.

2009-09-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

it's a giiiiirrl!! like i already knew, but it's official! ok, let's go a few steps backwards now. since the first day my sister told me she was pregnant, i just had that feeling that it was a girl. we jokingly went back and forth because she thought it was a boy, and i KNEW it was a girl. well, before i even knew she was pregnant amy & i were @ walgreens and happened across this take-home gender identifying tests. now no one took it seriously, but i knew i had to get sarah one and see what it says!! supposedly if it turns green it's a boy and if it turns (or stays) orange, it's a girl. well, voila!:

then, later on that week, sarah had an appointment to get an ultrasound to determine the sex of her little bean. well, as i expected, they saw the "three lines" and she confirmed my suspicions: "it" turned into my little Jillian!! And finally, sarah had her ultrasound @ her doctor's office to determine the sex and check on a few other things (Jillians nice & healthy and 1 ounce overweight! hahaha, sarah!) and for the final time, we were confirmed that Jillian is in fact, a she! So, you know when in ultrasounds you see when they type "boy!" or "girl!"? Well, We don't know why, but the ultrasound technician felt the need to take a picture and type "labia":

So there you have it. Right in your face. My sister's having my little princess, like i always knew!<3

commando.

2009-09-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

i learned today that i need to find a form of release. i realize that sounds perverted to you folks with your mind in the gutter, let me explain. i tend to be overwhelmed fairily easy. when it rains it pours and i always find myself outside, without an umbrella.. in my underwear. i feel like i have no passion in life. like the passions musicians or artists or PARENTS have. like, when i was in high school and i needed to release some energy (good or bad) the water was my escape. i'd go to the pool and swim some laps. my favorite sound was the sound of underwater. when u're holding ur breath and u can hear your hands slapping the water and ur feet kicking behind you. but now i'm fat and lazy and don't have a pool that i'm required to be in every 6th period. so when i find myself lost for words and actions in times like these, i feel like my hearts going to burst out of my chest and it all turns to anger and anxiety. i wish i was one of those people that could just go paint, or write a poem, or hug their child. but i have no extreme passion in life and it makes me feel like i'm just wasting time. i tell everyone that when they ask me why i'm not in school. because i don't know what i want to do! i want to be happy. and i don't care who says money can't buy happiness, because it can and it does. so therefore i need to make semi-decent money. idk, i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. i know i'm an extremely hard worker and i know that if i was extraordinarily passionate about something, i'd find a way to make it work. but i'm not. i need inspiration.

ps. i realize this completely contradicts my last post. maybe i'm bipolar. i've never said "practice what you preach," maybe i'll give it a try... someday. just not today.

this too shall pass.

2009-08-27T22:40:00.001-07:00

i took time out yesterday to stop & smell the roses. literally. and then i let the sun kiss my face. & i purposely walked on grass barefoot, for the first time in forever. i felt like a kid again and it was amazing. i think one of the worst parts about growing up is losing that playful carefree freedom you have as a child. we become so overworked and overstressed as adults that we stop enjoying life for what it is. it becomes a constant list of worries, regardless of how much money we make we still, in some way, live paycheck to paycheck. whether it's whether or not we'll make rent, or really wanting an expensive luxury, we're constantly going over or checkbooks trying to scrimp & save, or charging things on a whim & worrying about it later. we live in a time now where unemployment's rampant, where every other person on the street has anxiety, or depression, bipolarity, or some kind of "condition" that is ultimately caused by imperfections that we ourselves cannot face. (i am in NO way passing judgment, i am very much included in the previously mentioned list). in the last week i've felt so blessed & so relaxed. i've honestly tried to take things as they come and not stress over things that I honestly have no control over. and in this passed week i've gotten SEVERAL (and i mean several) phone calls/txts/etc. from people with overwhelming issues. it feels like everyone is going thru such a shitty time right now and i wish that for just one day i could take all the weight off of everyone of my loved one's shoulders and tell them to JUST BREATHE. if you're reading this, i know you're in debt, i know you're fighting with someone you love, i know you have bills and worries and stresses, but you are alive and i am SO thankful for that. and all i want for you is happiness. instead of complaining about the heat, soak up the sun. we have no control over the weather (we all know it could be way worse) so embrace it. instead of getting enraged that you got cut off, be thankful that you didn't get hit (this one, for me at least, is so much easier said than done). and when you feel like you have no hopes and you're about to give up, be thankful that you have a heart to feel these emotions and realize that you are your own worst enemy and your #1 fan and only you have the power to make things better. i read a quote somewhere that says "the darkest hour is just before dawn." be waiting for your sunrise, it'll get better. i promise. "If i could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all OK."

artsy fartsy!!

2009-08-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

so this week i went from not being able to take a picture if my life depended on it to getting to have 3 amazing photoshoots. my heart is seriously so full it's about to burst. i really need to look into making this a full-time job. i LOVE it sooo much. so, originally the plan was to take whitney's pregnant belly pictures. Apparently mr. matthew had a different plan in mind and graced us with his face 4 weeks early. So i had the great honor of taking his new born pictures!! Here's a few of my favorites:

Next, Haley asked me to take Grace's 1 yr pictures to go out in her birthday invitations! I was SO excited about this one bcuz Grace is such a smiley baby in all her pictures and i knew i was going to have fun being able to move her around & catch different poses & faces! (with newborns it's a little harder, bcuz i definitely work for them, they don't work for me!) Grace was SO easy to shoot! She cooperated the entire time! She didn't move around one bit & Haley & Whit made her giggle & laugh the entire time! It was so fun being able to shoot with them because as they'll be able to tell you, I go all out when I take my pictures. I get SO into it, so i'd drop on the ground or stand in weird positions and I didn't even realize it because I was totally comfortable with it. At one point, whitney was totally sitting on my butt trying to get Grace to look @ the camera and Haley was right on the right of my face when Whit realized (before I even did!) and said "i'm sorry! I'm totally sitting on ur butt!!" It was so fun & comfortable and did I mention fun?? Whit, you'll definitely be my assistant if I ever make it big because i know i don't need to use manners with you! (unless somethings wrong!! hahaha). Here are a few of my favorite Gracie shots:

Lastly, but definitely not least, I got to take my beautiful niece's 4 month (first pool shots) pictures. Paige definitely has a mind & temper of her own, so last month (or maybe it was @ 2 months) Jaimie ended up @ the studio for 3 hours trying to get Paige's pictures taken and walked away without a single one, so she asked me if I would start taking them. I was SO stoked. It was SUCH a huge compliment. So this month (being August and all) I asked if maybe Jaimie wanted to take her 4 month pictures in the pool (the perks of not being stuck in a studio!). She thought it was a great idea and here are the results:

I'm seriously so excited things are looking up in the photography aspects, I hope there are MANY more blogs to come involving my pictures! Again, thank you SO much Haley, Whit, & Jaimie for trusting me to capture these amazingly important pictures for you. It is SUCH a honor.

22deuce deuce22

2009-08-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

so this past july i unwillingly turned 22. (july 31st to be exact!) to me, 22 sounds SO much older than 21. but oh well. so as most of you know, my birthday lasts the whooole month. so we started it off with a bang: me, lo, kt, & rox went to vegas to celebrate my bday, girls style. which i've already blogged about :) then i did a family dinner @ bjs (which im STILL waiting for the pictures from, ahem *sarah!!*). it was so amazing. the original plan was to go to fred's on main street for taco tuesday, but it was a joke down there cuz not only was it taco tuesday, but main street has the street fair on tuesdays! the wait was at LEAST an hour and a half, so after a slight change of plans, we ended up @ bjs in HB. :] sarah already had a shot of patron waiting for me (like the great sister she is). so it was me, j, amy, ma, sarah, jake, sheila, jack, jess & rick. the whole fam. it was really meaningful to me knowing how crazy and ridiculous everyone's schedules are we can never find a free minute (let alone a WHOLE night) together. did i even mention my free pazookie!? next on the celebration list, was my work birthday party. heather, sara, & rox (&holly) bent over backwards to make sure i'd have a great birthday. the original plan was to party it up @ holly's, but she unfortunately got really sick, so we ended up pre-partying @ anthony's house with some AMAZING jello shots, then movin on over to sara's, then to dave & busters. SO MUCH FUN! :] the next morning (@ 4am and still very much drunk) me, jason, jaimie & james headed out to laughlin! after some extreme hangover and a few un-classy shots (my first time vomiting in a plastic bag.. IN a car) we made it to the river, where i got to test the best cure for a hangover.. drinking some more! :] laughlin was amazing. super hot (120 degrees) but water, gambling, & alcohol? it doesn't get much better. the weekend was pretty much filled with beer (looots of beer), water, suuuun (lots of sun), jetskis, gambling, vodka (LOOOOTS of vodka) & some good fkn food. jaimie went all out to make sure my birthday was celebrated. it was so cute. she got me spongebob pancakes & took me out for sushi that night! i've realized that my favorite thing to do in a casino is to sit @ the cheap blackjack table ALL night, suck down the free drinks & find a good dealer. i had SO much fun!! i can't wait till our next trip to laughlin or vegas!! LET'S GO!

poseidon.

2009-08-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

so most of you know my sister is my best friend. i look up to her SO much & yet know she makes mistakes, too, so it's not like it makes me feel bad about myself. she's one of my favorite people to go to for advice because i can admit all the horrible things people don't like to admit, but she still has to love me because i'm family!! haha. well, i found out the day after her birthday this year that she's giving me the best gift she could possibly ever give me! and now that she's out in the open about it, i can finally blog about it! i'm gonna be an AUNTIE!! i'm sooooo excited & i already love this baby SO much. her first due date was february 7th, but it keeps changing. all i know is that i can't wait for HER to get here. (haha, she thinks its a boy, i'm convinced its a girl). its amazing how much i can love someone i've never even met! i'm going to strive to be the best auntie in the world. more updates to come!

on another note, i've gone on 2 'vacations' in the last month & sarah's put me completely @ ease by taking care of penny & luna and i just wanted to mention how extraordinarily grateful i am for all your help, sister. you went about and beyond just feeding them and i really really appreciate it. i love you!

"these are a few of my favorite things..."

viva las vegas!

2009-07-27T23:43:00.000-07:00

so a group of my closest girlfriends and i decided to celebrate my birthday a little early this year and took a mini 3 day weekend vaca to vegas! it was SOOOO much fun! it was only my second time going to vegas and my very first all-girls trip. it's crazy how different an experience vegas can be depending on the people you go with. this time, i spent half the time there in the pool (it was 120 degrees), went out dancing, and didnt' gamble once. i had the time of my life, still. we started off the weekend on the wrong foot, don't ask me how i did it, but i missed the 15 interchange on the way there and we totally got lost, which took an hour for us to get back on track. despite that, the ride there was still smooth sailing, no traffic and we had a great time. it only took us 4 hrs to get there! when we got there, it was 120 degrees! we got an early check in, the double queen beds we wanted and a HUGE bathtub (that we all squeezed into later!) the first thing on my agenda was to get a yard and head straight for the pool. but we stayed @ the tropicana and i wanted to get my yard @ fat tuesdays in MGM, so i settled for a few pina coladas and cadillac margaritas instead. the pool was AMAZING. we just hung out, floated around, talked & drank. needless to say, 2 hrs later i was wasted off my ass. kind of embarassing, but so much fun. then we went upstairs, got cleaned up and headed off to my birthday dinner @ dick's last resort. this restaurant is seriously great, but is definitely only for those with thick skin. me & rox have been wanting to go there SO bad and i'm so glad we waited till now to go. the waiter was a total crack up and ended up making me and lauren these hats:

Lauren's says "my vagina is so beat up it looks like rhianna" and mine says "easier to get into than community college and just as cheap." Like i said, you need thick skin to appreciate this restaurant. The bartender gave lap dances to all the birthday boys & girls, so i threatened all my friend's lives if they told him we were celebrating my birthday. So i was lap-dance free. :) Then we walked the strip and ended up @ Bellagio and watched the water show, which is definitely going to have to be a tradition of mine every time I'm in Vegas. I love it! After that we headed over to New York, New York and ended up hitting up club Rok, where I slutted it up and danced on a stage for the very first time. LoL! It was SO much fun. We got home around 3 am, called it a night and slept in till about 11am the next day! It felt SO good to sleep in!! Day 2 consisted of LOTS more pool time, a yard or 2, dinner @ a nice italian restaurant in New York, New York then more bar dancing @ coyote ugly. We danced the whole night away, went back to our hotel (Tropicana) and hung out for awhile and left the next morning. I seriously had such a great time and am already trying to plan the next girls Vegas trip. It seriously needs to happen at least a couple times a year!! Here's some more pictures (for you, Haley!):

Lo, Me, Kt, & Rox after the drinks @ the pool day 1.

Dancing on the moving walkways<3

Us all dressed up for Coyote Ugly

Us in front of Excalibur, on our way to Dick's.

ww update 3.

2009-07-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

i'll keep this short & sweet, but i'm down 15.8 lbs and 3 pant sizes. super happy and excited. i'm lacking some motivation, but i'm still goin. i'm halfway there! i honestly still don't "see" it other than my pants SEEM bigger on me. i still feel really overweight and chunky. i have lots more energy though and i actually have the urge to work out, when i couldn't convince or BEG myself to work out 4 weeks ago, so that HAS to be a good sign. i need to actually start working out now, though. i really need a workout buddy because that's genuinely why i don't do it. it's a lot easier (and more fun) if i have company. but hopefully i can keep this up! i have a vegas trip (that i JUST booked, eeeeee!!) in 2 weeks and i want to feel really good there, so hopefully i can shed a few more lbs before then. "nothing tastes as good as thin feels." i actually haven't said that in awhile. gotta keep that up! thanks for all your support. xo.

mustard.

2009-06-30T21:33:00.000-07:00

so i haven't blogged in awhile and i've been trying to think of things to write about, but nothing blog-worthy *in my mind* has happened, so here's a catch-up. (as opposed to mustard, u get the title now? wooo). anywho. june has been such a rough month. i am so glad to see the last 3 hrs of this awful month crawling by. good riddance june 09.

sooo many people have passed away this month, it makes me nauseous just to think about it. r.i.p to all of you. you & your families are in my thoughts & prayers. i don't want to dwell on that too much bcuz it gets me too worked up. anyways, two of my very best friends and 1 family member had hospital visits. it started to hit too close to home. marisa dislocated her elbow, katie got her appendix removed, and poor dave pretty much got wrecked. but everyone's okay now and things are on the up and up! i promise i won't focus on the negative too much. i know i'm completely overreacting, but i found a flea on penny & i flipped out! i was sooooo upset. i immediately threw her in a bath (so she got her SECOND bath, no pictures this time, i was too distressed) and bought frontline as fast as i could. hopefully that'll be the first AND last i see of them. i have to get her fixed next month & i'm so nervous. i've also been a little sick this month, waiting for results on thursday. more to come then.

on the briiiighter side: good things about this month, the float!! i have to admit, i was pretty disappointed with the float this year. everybody wasn't as happy-go-lucky as i would've liked, but booze, sun, and water?? i couldn't NOT have a good time. hopefully there'll be more pictures to come, but i kind of doubt it. i'm trying to plan another one this year, but with time & money idk if i can see that happening. next time i go, though i'm going with a "no shirt, no shoes, no problems" attitude and only bringing those who comply. i'll write a separate blog on the float when i get pictures cuz theres lots of stories to tell there. on another note, i seriously had one of the best days of my life today. i love my mom SO much. she seriously makes my heart smile in the way only someone you love unconditionally with your entire heart, without boundaries can. usually when i work early or have the day off on a monday or tuesday i'll make it a point to go to westminster & visit my mama cuz life isn't as bright when i haven't seen her face in awhile. i didn't realize how much my happiness relies on her till today. so, it had been one or two weeks since we hung out so she texted me telling me she missed me and wanted to hang out. well, i got off at 11:30am today and days like these are perfect to hang out cuz i just go to her house right after work, then come home around 6, right on time to make jason dinner. so we have a routine. every single time we hang out, we go to the mall, stop @ target AND bath & body works (where my mom blows WAYYY too much money on lotion cuz she likes to 'smell good'). seriously, the ladies @ b&bw know us. it's so cute. then we always go to ross & act like complete white trash in the store & laugh & dance our butts off. anyways, so my mom wanted to get mani/pedis today first so we went and got our nails done, which is always fun bcuz we talk and act silly and get pampered @ the same time. the ladies @ the salon love my mom. so then we went to ross, laughed like we always do then headed to the mall. we walked around and window shopped and headed to b&bw. the reason it was so amazing is because the whole time i honestly forgot i was with my mom. i felt like i was with my best friend in the whole wide world who i know loves me SO much, is the most positive person, makes me feel so good about myself and makes me laugh like i'm 4 again. so we headed to b&bw where i got to talking to the sales lady (who, mind you, knows me & mom) about aromatherapy & my insomnia. and she points out this one lotion thing that smells soooo good & relaxing and my mom jumped in and just bought it for me and lectured me about how much she loves me and wants me to feel better and she wants me to have it. mind you, i don't like my mom buying things for me, but it was only $10 and i could tell it made her feel so good. so after being at the mall for a few hours we went to head towards bella terra, but in the parking lot i seriously got in the closest call to an accident without actually being in an accident in my ENTIRE life. this stupid old asshole almost t-boned me and i slammed on my brakes harder than i ever have in my entire life and he just kept driving! i seriously was SO beyond scared and ENRAGED and scared for my mom and more pissed off. i seriously only didn't hit him by the grace of God. anyways i made him pull over (by cutting him off & slamming on my brakes, dad if u're reading this, i know. i'm sorry, but he was like a 90 yr old asian and he had what was coming to him) and checked my car cuz he had a big fat dent where i thought i hit him, but he explained that i was already there from one of his previous fuck ups (go figure) and that he was so sorry, but it was because he's disabled. and i'm sorry if this is rude or ignorant, but if you're using your driving incapabilities excuse on having a handicap placard hanging from your rearview mirror, then you really need to stop driving. my boyfriend's mom has a placard and she drives just fine. needless to say, i was sooo shaken up and upset and irrational after this i just drove and my mom asked me to go to BJs cuz she was having a potato skin fix. (it runs in the fam). and i was like GREAT cuz i could use a drink! so we ended up just sitting @ the bar for a good hour, we had ONE bloody mary each and just talked and had a great time. and before i knew it, i had completely forgotten about the accident, was having a good time and laughing. i seriously forgot all my worries about this entire horribly awful month and was just HAPPY. i felt like my heart was dancing, and i honestly hadn't felt that ALLEVIATED in months on months. so after our ONE drink *don't judge me!* we went to Barnes & Noble, messed around, bought a few things and went back HOME and just hung out. i started getting sleepy because it was 630, and i was going on about 4 hours of sleep so i headed home and can't get over how great i feel. it's just nice to know mama can still kiss your booboos and make everything better.

ww update 2.

2009-06-17T13:29:00.000-07:00

so, things are going so much more smoothly than i could've ever imagined and i'm trying REALLY hard not to get my hopes up or set my expectations TOO high because i know that you lose weight rapidly the first 3 weeks then it slows wayyyyyyy down, but i'm still pretty darn excited. (wow, that was the longest run-on sentence ever). anyways, i had my second weigh in today and i've lost 11.2 pounds!! it's been pretty smooth sailing. i feel like i'm learning a lot and keep telling myself "nothing tastes as good as thin feels." seriously, that quote is going to be the life of me. but i seriously would not be nearly as inspired without all the positive reinforcement from my friends and family. you guys are seriously amazing. you have no idea how much your positive words and thoughts do for me. even on days when i hate myself, i find room in my heart to love me instead, bcuz i know you guys love me. thank you all for being such beautiful human beings. <3>

ms. pennylane

2009-06-15T20:15:00.001-07:00

well i haven't gotten a chance to write about the newest addition to our family, our new kitty pennylane. she's seriously shown me that i am NOT ready for a baby. i would've never guessed how much work and patience it takes to have a cat and she pushes the boundries every day!! but more than anything, she makes me smile (and laugh) every single day & fills my heart till it's about to burst. it's so nice having someone who's happy to see you every time you walk through the door. she cuddles with me every night and talks to me. i love how loyal she is. me & jason are trying really hard to try to train her, but it's not easy. i can't believe how much she's already grown.

this is her when we first got her, it's a little blurry but you can tell how tiny she is! she was so scared :(

jason pretends like he doesn't love her. he says it all the time, that he doesn't like cats and doesn't like her, but i catch him allll the time. he loves on her and plays with her when he thinks i'm not looking. it's so cute.

this is them napping:

and this is her after her first bath! it's one of my fave artsy fartsy pics of her:

i know i'm like the crazy cat lady and all, but i just wanted to share.<3

ww update.

2009-06-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

so today was my first weigh in. i've been sticking to my daily points very strictly this week. so far it's been easy, i just hope it keeps up this way. I tend to lose motivation once i see results, which doesn't make any sense at all, but when do i ever make sense? well, after a very quick 7 days, i've dropped 5.8 lbs! :) i'm happy and proud of myself and i hope i can keep it up. so, i've already reached my first goal (sooo stoked) but i know weight won't keep dropping this quickly, so my next goal is to lose a total of 10 lbs! so, i have 4.2 more lbs to lose! lets see if this week is as successful! i also wanted to thank all of my close family and friends, you have all been soooo encouraging and so amazing and on days when i want to snack or munch, i think of you and it helps me not break my diet bcuz it's easier to disappoint myself than to disappoint you! and my saying works wonders, i say it SO many times a day:

"nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

xo.

chubby bunny

2009-06-04T23:17:00.000-07:00

that's me in high school. this is the picture i dwell on when i'm feeling especially, well let's face it, fat. i didn't realize how easy i had it in high school, i was in 3 sports and worked out several hours a day, so i got to eat whatever i wanted & it stayed off. i can't believe i thought i was fat then. well that was then and this is now, me... 30 lbs. heavier. so i've joined weight watchers again, for the third & last time. i can't believe how out of control i let myself become. i joined it a few months before sarah's wedding and lost, i think, around 10 or 15 pounds. and it felt great and now i can't remember for the life of me why i stopped. well, since then i've gained 17 lbs! since october! it makes me sick to even think of it. and i blame it on the fact that i'm comfortable and i love & that jason loves me for me and he loves my body the way it is. Well, i don't. So things are changing. Basically, I'm writing this blog because i know there are going to be times when weight watchers is getting a little too hard or strenuous for me *it's a lot of work!* so i'm going to fall back on this & write out my frustrations! my long term goal is to lose 30 lbs, but i'm going to set shorter goals for myself, to keep me motivated. i'm only on day two & i weigh in once a week *on wednesdays* so for short term, i'm going to look @ losing 5 lbs. i'm feeling really motivated & strong this time around, so hopefully this will stick. and hopefully i'll look even more fantastic in my after picture that the one i just posted. (yeah right, but we'll keep our hopes up anyway!) Jason's mom has been such a great source of motivation for me and the other night she told me something that i say to myself at least a few times a day, it really helps:

"nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

xo.

rockin' the casbah

2009-05-29T11:39:00.000-07:00

To my sister, my best friend.HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY!!

I am so unbelievably grateful for how close we've gotten these past couple of years. Sometimes I honestly forget that I have the luck of being related to you. You are my best friend and just the type of personality I need in my life. NO one calms me down like you can when i'm a riled up, irrational crying mess. You are my strength, my support. You're my voice of reasoning when I can't seem to find my way. And on a less emotional note, you're my all-time favorite drinking partner!! You've shown me SO many new and fun things and yet I still have the time of my life with you in our pjs, scrapbooking and playing yahtzee. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile on days when I didn't even want to get out of bed. And thank you for knowing me for me, the good & the bad, and loving me anyway. What better present can I give you for your birthday, here:

99 Luftballons

Hielten sich fuer Captain Kirk

Love you with my whole heart. All day. Every day.

this is quick but not quite painless...

2009-05-28T19:42:00.000-07:00

I'm a war of head versus heart
And it's always this way
My head is weak, my heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say

...more to come when i can straighten these thoughts out.

cheeeeese! :)

2009-05-27T21:40:00.001-07:00

so i've really been itchin' to start up my photography again. i looooove how it feels to make the world look like you want it to look behind a lens. i wish i could make it my lifestyle. i would LOVE to be a professional photographer. so on that note, i really think i'm going to get back into taking tons more pictures! so if anyone wants/needs or is willing to be my subject, please let me know!! i'm definitely a beginner, but i'm so passionate bout it. here's a few of ones i've taken in the past.

happy memorial day :)

2009-05-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

"A hero is someone who has given his or her

life to something bigger than oneself."

hope everyone's memorial day was sun-tastic. :) even though it's a great day to celebrate the outdoors, bbq, and show the sun some love or get paid double time (woop woop!), i hope everyone took some much needed time to appreciate the people who fight for our freedom.

i realized today @ work how much people take their crappy moods out on the people around them. it surprises me every single day how horribly perfect strangers treat each other. working one-on-one with hundreds of customers on a daily basis, i can say firsthand that smiles really are contagious. a kind customer seriously can (and has on many occasions) made my entire day. so my daily advice (to myself, too) is really think before you speak or act. i know i've been guilty of taking my horrible moods out on the people around me (strangers and loved ones, alike) and i'm going to change that. there's a difference between confiding your crummy feelings to someone and taking it out on them and i think distinguishing the two is really going to make my days a whole lot brighter. smiles are contagious, infect someone today.

ambien beginnings.

2009-05-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

this is the part where i realize how extremely grateful i am to not have something dramatically interesting to write about. although, it would make for some great entertainment, i had taken my beloved, ambien almost an hour ago, and with it went my originality, creativity, and sleep resistance. i'm doing this blog for and because the people i love. i love reading their blogs and now they'll have that same opportunity. (i repeat, opportunity; not requirement). i also think this will be something extremely beneficial to me because my insomnia leaves me up late at night with several things on my minds and now i have a mode to release. welcome to my diary entries- please tread carefully.